Sunday 25 November 2018

NeeeeeeeEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAOOOoooowwww!

“And there – he – goes….. “ Ah, the voice of Murray Walker conjures up memories of motor sport throughout my formative year and beyond. To be honest I have never been especially keen on watching 750cc bikes, souped-up Cortinas or the 200mph advertising boards on wheels which contest Formula One Grand Prix. However, my weekend afternoons during the Seventies were often punctuated by Murray’s excitable exclamations.

Whether on two wheels or four, helmeted heads were often seen haring around rainswept swathes of tarmac, from Brands Hatch to Donington, Thruxton to Lyddon Hill, all to the soundtrack of Mr Walker’s commentary. The occasional shunt made the races moderately interesting and at least these segments in Grandstand were more entertaining than the 2.15 from Catterick.

Even in black-and-white, the mud-spattered sport of Motorcross definitely had appeal for this young boy. Umpteen bikes actually raced against each other in close proximity, scrambling around rugged fields, generating a genuine sense of excitement. This YouTube clip brought it all back to me. Rally driving seemed to feature similar elements, but without the danger of overtaking. On the few occasions I watched on the box, it always seemed to be Finns winning everything and, while it looked a thrilling spectacle for the spectator, I never felt the inner rush to travel to some godforsaken forest and see a soggy Subaru fishtailing its way down the lanes. I was happy to leave such adventures to the true petrolheads.

Rallycross and saloon car racing had the advantage of featuring vehicles broadly recognisable from those I saw on the way to school (Vauxhall Chevettes, Ford Escorts!), while  Sports Car events had slightly more glamour but without the global cache of F1. Not enough to convert me to the Castrol-veined Clarksonesque community. As they say, every cloud…!

No, I preferred my cars smaller. Much smaller. I do remember on our 1970 summer holiday to Cornwall buying a Roger Clark Ford Capri complete with stickers, the closest I would ever get to rallying! Whilst my own ‘races’ on the living room carpet were more likely to involve the larger Corgi or Dinky models, amongst my modest collection of toy cars were a few peeling metal Matchbox Jaguars or Lesney Lotuses, either bought for me or passed down from my uncles. Welcome to the word of Formula One. 

Like most sports, the BBC tended to dominate motor sport broadcasting and, being part of a Beeb-favouring family, I probably watched F1 from a young age. I don’t recall exactly when I became aware of the sport’s epitome but I do remember discussing the well-publicised death of Jochen Rindt in 1970 with a classmate who was more into such things than I ever was; he even went to Brands Hatch with his family, a distinctly exotic activity compared with my stamp-collecting, bike-riding or back garden cricket with Dad.

My Grand Prix watching was fairly sporadic. It wasn’t essential viewing for me, not even the British or Monaco races, for all their hyper-hyped glitz and gloss. However, if there was nothing else to do or watch on a wet Sunday summer or autumn afternoon, the BBC’s coverage was a reliable friend. Let’s be honest, the best bits were:-
-        The brooding bassline and wailing guitar solo from Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain’ top-and-tailing each programme;
-        Murray Walker acclaiming a particularly nifty piece of overtaking or crash;
-        The chequered flag moment

Everything in between was rather boring. Monaco had some street scenery but no overtaking, which put the onus on speed in pre-race qualifying. Spa in Belgium had some distinctive rises and falls, Hockenheim the forests, Monza had Ferrari’s irresistible seas of scarlet banners and, more recently, the innovative floodlit Singapore brought a different look and atmosphere. However, I always found it difficult to love the rest.

Once the mad dash for the first bend, with its associated risks and potential for shunts and spins, was completed, what else is there to look forward to? Putting a stopwatch on pit stops added a touch of tension to what is basically a trip to the garage for new tyres (but without the wait and browse through an incomprehensible spare parts magazine) but even if the superbly-drilled mechanics performed their task inside six seconds, it would do nothing to boost my heart rate. Only a bumper-to-bumper contest and heart-in-mouth overtaking manoeuvres would do that.

There was nothing uplifting about a really serious accident, of course. In the Seventies, Formula One was still a dangerous business. The increased emphasis on ‘elf and safety may have produced less of a spectacle for TV audiences but it has also undoubtedly extended the lifespan of drivers and indeed those in the stands. Big stars like Rindt, Ronnie Peterson, Gilles Villeneuve and Ayrton Senna all perished for our entertainment, while others have sadly died during testing. I remember switching on to the 1994 Imola race to learn of Senna’s fatal collision with a wall. Obviously there were no highlights, no confirmation that the much-loved genius had been killed, but the downbeat tone of Walker, Brundle et al said it all and practically had me in tears. I hadn’t been watching in 1976 when the brilliant Niki Lauda was engulfed in flames at the Nurburgring but the scenes shown on the News that night were shocking. I definitely prefer my sporting heroes alive and kicking, thank you very much.

As with other sports, the migration of F1 away from BBC then terrestrial TV altogether seriously diminished my interest in motor racing. The banter between Jake Humphreys, Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard had been quite entertaining, while Suzi Perry had introduced some much-needed femininity but even Suzi couldn’t lure me into the world of tyre treads and millionaire motorhomes. The retirement of Michael Schumacher and rise of Lewis Hamilton haven’t helped either. Will there be future drivers or presenters able to lead me back into the fold? Probably not, given this household’s preference for Sunday afternoon football! However, Formula One has not been without its luminaries who have enthralled this armchair viewer.

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