Goals, Goals, Goals

Tucking it away, slotting home, ‘back of the net’; football’s all about goals, isn’t it?

It doesn’t matter how they go in. Dodgy deflections or thirty yard thunderbolts, goalie gaffes or goalmouth scrambles, they all count.

When conjuring up my own brightest memories of goals over the years, I think they basically split into three different categories: late winners/Cup clinchers, life-affirming stunners and the ones which make me smile in recognition of their sheer impudence or originality.

The famous end-of-season last-gasp efforts by Sergio Aguero (2012) and Michael Thomas (1989) wouldn’t make a YouTube montage of Greatest Ever Goals ('pleaz like and subscribe') but for significance they can’t be beaten. Similarly, many goals which decided Cup finals at home or abroad linger long in my memory, from Charlie George’s strike for Arsenal in ’71 to Lawrie Sanchez’s flick header for Wimbledon in ’88 or Iniesta’s pounce to claim Spain’s World Cup triumph in 2010.

Whirling curling shots from distance are ten-a-penny these days. Every goal in very match played is captured for posterity, a far cry from the old Match of the Day era of two games a week. Nevertheless, Dad and I would religiously select our own 1-2-3 Goals of the Month from the meagre list, culminating in the Goal of the Season around the time of the Cup Final. Some of those early winners are ingrained in my brain, such as Mickey Walsh's strike for Blackpool in 1975, Justin Fashanu’s flick, twist and thump for Norwich five years later and, of course, Ronnie Radford’s Motson-maker in the 1971-72 FA Cup.

The onset of the Premier League, the exponential expansion of camera angles and balls aerodynamically designed to prance and pirouette to the striker’s tune brought an even greater number of mouth-watering goals to my TV screen. In the mid-Nineties, Leeds’ Tony Yeboah and Southampton’s Matt leTissier were forever scoring individual masterpieces while, for Arsenal, Thierry Henry and Dennis Bergkamp would re-define the art of finishing, later finessed by the incomparable Lionel Messi.

We all love an acrobatic volley, of course. Anyone with any experience of playing football knows how insanely difficult an overhead ‘bicycle’ kick is to pull off successfully, so when I see one perfectly executed, I have to stand and applaud. Gareth Bale even did it in the 2018 Champions League Final. However, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, never one to shrink from the toughest challenge, produced one of the very best and most ambitious for Sweden against England in 2012. But when an ‘overhead’ is delivered by a player from my own club, it’s even more special. Thank you, Trevor Sinclair!

Free-kicks have never been more important to teams. With the defensive wall still expected to line up ten yards from the ball, it is much easier these days to loft it up and over. The hard bit, of course, is to get the ball to dip under the bar. Some have avoided this dilemma by mischievously taken advantage of leaping defenders to fire home under the wall, and I won’t forget a few brilliant Brazilians’ success with bending it around the barrier. Rivelino was an early exponent but I doubt even he could have executed a banana kick as well as Roberto Carlos did in ’97. Phenomenal.

It’s not all about the boot, of course. Crosses, corners and free-kicks often seek out someone’s head to apply the final touch in the box. In my younger days, forwards would struggle to power in a header from further then the penalty spot but modern plastic balls are much lighter. One of the first goals off the bonce to stick in my mind was Uwe Seeler’s back-header against England in the 1970 World Cup. Malcolm Macdonald made the art look easy, scoring four headers against Cyprus five years later and in the 2014 World Cup Robin Van Persie’s winged flier for Holland showed that the head can be just as exciting a weapon as the foot. Occasionally a conventional-looking header becomes legendary when delivered by a master. Cristiano Ronaldo’s exemplary leap, hang and power was such a moment, breaking Welsh hearts in the 2016 Euros. How could anyone defend against that?

Solo goals often make me gasp but team moves can be more satisfying just as a delicious main course is ultimately more edifying than the instant appeal of a post-match burger and chips. In recent years, Spain and Barcelona have delivered many, of which this Iniesta-completed work of art is a perfect example. Wenger-era Arsenal were also often criticised for trying to walk the ball into the net when a more direct approach may have been more effective. However, when they had an end product, they could be beautiful.

Novelty value also makes some goals particularly memorable. One of my favourites is Ernie Hunt’s free-kick from Willie Carr’s two-footed back flick for Coventry in 1971. We certainly tried to copy that one for days on end! Mercifully it was not disallowed but it was kinda sad that the double-foot free-kick was subsequently outlawed. There’s nothing wrong with penalty-takers opting for a gentle dink instead of firing at the top corner. The ‘Panenka’ can go horribly wrong if the ‘keeper stands his ground but, when star players choose a chip in a high-pressure game, I doff my cap, as in this Zidane instance during the 2006 World Cup final.

One of the most famously audacious goals in the 1990s pretty much launched the career of one of England’s most celebrated football icons. Who can forget watching on MOTD when David Beckham lobbed Wimbledon’s Neil Sullivan from the halfway line in 1996?

Individual brilliance comes in many forms but two of my favourite goals were straight from the ‘out of nothing’ manual. George Best’s incredible acceleration and swivelled finish for Man U in ’71 was breathtaking but I will never forget watching England’s live game against Chile in ’98 when Marcelo Salas’ control and volley almost literally took my breath away. I must have screamed “What a goal!” on countless occasions but this deserved all the hyperbole. They may all count but some are definitely better than others.